Hello Santa!

This was Ethan's first year to have a picture taken with Santa!

Last year would have really been the first year,

but he was in isolation after his bone marrow transplant

so he wasn't allowed in public places.

This year, however, we decided to live it up

and capture the moment!

I can't believe he will be two years old in just over a month!

Wow. We're so excited!

Christmas, then a month later, E's birthday!

What a truly wonderful time of the year.

Not a Fan.

If any of you are on Facebook, then you are familiar with the "like" button. If you are not familiar with Facebook, then the "like" button is something you can click on if your friends post something that you like, then you click the "like" button indicating your enjoyment of whatever was said or posted. I often find myself looking for a "dislike" button for the silly things in my daily life, so I thought I'd post my own version of that train of thought. I'll call it "not a fan". See if you "like", I mean, agree...

1. Not a fan of paying full price for clothes, purses or toys. Gotta love discounts/sales/coupons! By the way, did you know that if you have a AAA membership, you get a discount at Kohls.com, New York & Company, Barnes & Noble... just to name a few.

2. Not a fan of crooked bumper stickers! (I would say I'm not a fan of bumper stickers, but I have an oval "cure leukemia" sticker on my bumper... but I assure you it's not crooked!)

3. Not a fan of the way Ethan's liquid vitamins smell. I mean come on! Poly Vi Sol really stinks!

4. Not a fan of people sneezing without covering their mouth.

5. Not a fan of Chili's new version of french fries. Or their new burgers. Talk about disappointment in the Krawiec household.

6. Not a fan of black nail polish.

7. Not a fan of plucking eyebrows. Ouch! Wax is faster and the sting is quickly over.

8. Not a fan of the word "moist". It just grosses me out for some reason.

9. Not a fan of super high heels. They make the tendonitis in my knee act up.

10. Not a fan of red in my meat. I'm a well-done kind of girl!

11. Not a fan of waking up in the morning.

12. Not a fan of coffee. I'm diet dr. pepper all the way. Yes, even at 6:30 in the morning!

13. Not a fan of being next to a car at a red light who's music is so loud that MY car is vibrating.

14. Not a fan of the Yankees. Boston Red Sox all the way, thank you very much.

15. Not a fan of wallpaper. Seriously, when we were looking to buy a house, if it had wallpaper in the rooms I literally didn't want to go see it. I know... I'm quirky.

16. Not a fan of any other salad dressing, than Ranch.

17. Not a fan of hanging up/putting away clothes. I do it. But I'm not a fan of it.

18. Not a fan of pouring a bowl of cereal only to realize the milk expired yesterday.

19. Not a fan of the color pale pink. Not sure why. I actually am not a fan of most pale/pastel colors. I like 'em bold!

20. Not a fan of having to bring this post to a close, but I gotta go get Ethan ready for a play date!


Tell me something silly that you're not a fan of.

I have a question.

If we could trade "drama" (fretting, worry, sadness, anger, discontent, fill in your own blank) for peace (aka: a calm spirit), joy, contentment - would we?

OF COURSE! Right? That's the first thought that comes to your mind? But I question whether we would or not. This side of heaven, anyway.

Think about it. When God gives us peace about something, do we welcome it and fully rest in it or do we push it away as soon as the next train of thought comes along, welcoming back the anxiety.

When we get the answer to a prayer that we asked, do we relish in the joy of that answered prayer or do we quickly wonder what strings might be attached.

When we have everything we need, do we relax and enjoy the blessings of the Lord or do we wish for something else... or worry when it will be taken away.

I don't know... maybe it's just me, but do we create drama or an anxious mentality because in this perverse world, we "need" to. We thrive on it. In a backwards way, we "enjoy" always having something to complain about, worry about or fear.

Sound crazy?

Why else would we do it so often, then?

We give it to the Lord.
We take it back.
He's patient with us.
We grow irrational.

We gain peace in one area and therefore we must create a disturbance in another area. I think we too often feel that if life is good... then it's too good to be true. Or simply trusting the Lord with all the ins and outs of our lives is just too easy. There has to be more to it, right? We always have to be anxious about "abc". And if we're not anxious about "abc" then by all means we need to worry about "xyz".

Are ya with me on this? Do you follow what I'm saying?

But....

Maybe it really is meant to be that simple. Trust Him. Glide through life letting the trials serve only as opportunities to put His promises to the test. Then leave them in His hands. Allowing no room for our interference; therefore, no need for our emotional instability.

He's got it.

We're all set.

Therefore erase the drama from your mind.

Impossible?

Well then why would the Lord go to such lengths as to remind us what benefits we gain when we do...

Be anxious for [about] nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. (Phil 4:6-7)

Or how about,

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path. (Prov. 3:5-6)

So, can we?

Can we not let ourselves get worked up about anything. Can we trust Him with everything?

Or maybe the question should be will we?

And when it's more enticing to worry, be upset, get angry, or be afraid...

Remember, He promises peace in our hearts and minds if we trust Him instead.

So yep... I guess it is that simple.

a little of this; a little of that

What an enjoyable day! Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you did have a happy one. I can certainly remember (and if you've followed my blog long enough, then you also remember my other blog, which mentioned what an unhappy thanksgiving we unexpectedly experienced last year, in which my husband required two trips to the ER for a sliced open hand and major surgery to save the mobility in his hand!) Needless to say, there was no feasting for he or I, last year. Fear and shock, yes. Enjoying the meal hubby made for all of us, no.

However, this year was great! We re-did the Thanksgiving meal of last year - minus the freak accident - and it was even better because it was in our first house! The hubster cooks a great bird and I actually tackled the carving this year. Throw in some of his special recipe mashed potatoes, green bean casserole made by my mom, corn, cranberry sauce (which Ethan LOVED!), stuffing, gravy and a few other items - oh! and the delish pumpkin pie my dad made, and you find a completely enjoyable day! We all took a walk around the block after we ate and it was great. Ethan absolutely loves to walk around outside, exploring every nook and cranny. It's so fun to watch him grow up. What a treasure! Later in the afternoon my mom helped me put up my new Christmas tree, we hung stockings and put the wreath on the door. I truly love this time of year and here in the Northeast, you get the full effect with all the cold weather!

So all in all, a good day. Relaxing. Low key. And perfectly uneventful!

On a completely different train of thought, have I ever mentioned that I was a psychology major? Not that it matters, really. I started off college, many moons ago, interested in Journalism. But when I realized the class schedule required me a particular set of math and science classes, I quickly lost interest! I stumbled into Business, which I liked. And I stumbled in Psychology, which I loved. So I made my major Psych, and my minor Business. A great combo. Anyway, I've often wondered why I was so drawn to those psychology classes. Not the hocus pocus part of it, but learning what motivates people to do what they do, studying how people think, learning how to determine the ways people communicate - or how they don't communicate. It's all very intriguing to me. It was way back then in those early college moments and it is now.

I like to be reflective. I like to analyze. I like to question. I like to ponder the in's and out's of a particular situation or interaction. But only in the privacy of my own mind, and on my own time. However, it happens all the time. Maybe many are like this, I can't be sure. But, my hubby isn't (unless he's at work!). He likes to move ahead. I like to sit and dwell. I find some sort of odd comfort in being able to reason through something. He likes to take a lesson learned and intelligently apply it to whatever lies ahead. I don't like to forge ahead until I determine why the lesson had to be learned in the first place! And I gotta tell ya... I think (see, there I go again....) mine is the more frustrating way to live.

Why?

Reflecting, analyzing, questioning, and pondering can be equated to sodium. Small doses are good for you; your body needs sodium. However, large amounts of sodium can be dangerous (hello, high blood pressure!). Much like, I believe, large amounts of over-thinking can be dangerous to your mental health and possibly even your spiritual health.

What in the world am I talking about? And what does this have to do with Thanksgiving?

Well, it has nothing to do with Thanksgiving. Except maybe the sodium part. Because I did use salt on my food today. But, then again, we use "no-salt", the sodium free stuff. So I guess, not even the sodium reference would link any of this to Thanksgiving after all. Oops, see I've done it again. Stop, Kasey. Yep, it's official... I've decided I over-think way too much. Even the inconsequential things in life!?

Or maybe I'm just random!

Or both.

Anyway, back to my point, I've been so hung up lately on details. And not in a good way. It's very good to "be in the details" say, if you're a air traffic control person, or a surgeon in the middle of an operation, a chef, a family buying groceries on a budget, etc. However, that's not what I'm talking about. I can get so caught up in my analyzing of certain details - past, present and future - that I become distracted. And I hate when I'm distracted because in those moments I fail to do what I should/need to be doing.

Here's where I get hung up:

I need to let moments from the past, go.

I need to let moments that have yet to come, stay in God's hands.

And I need to be actively present in what's going on right now.

Not looking behind me questioning and reflecting on things that do not matter. Not looking ahead of me anticipating & analyzing ways to deal with things that may or may not come my way. And instead learn a thing or two from my very wise hubby.... take the lesson if there is one, and apply it the next time it's needed. Trust the Lord with things unanswered. Move ahead & stay positive. Have fun and by all means, be silly!

And he does do just that.

And I'm waiting for him to rub off on me!

So.... what have we learned from all this rambling?

1. I hope you had a very happy thanksgiving.
2. I hope you didn't eat too much salt.
3. I hope you (and I) don't get so caught up in the details of life (that we can't change or that we worry will come into our lives) that you miss the very goodness of your life each day.

Oh... and of course,
4. Trust the Lord and be silly!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good!
For His mercy endures forever.

-

Oh, give thanks to the God of gods!
For His mercy endures forever.
Oh, give thanks to the Lord of lords!
For His mercy endures forever:

To Him alone who does great wonders,

for His mercy endures forever;

Who remembered us in our lowly state,
for His mercy endures forever.
And rescued us from our enemies,
for His mercy endures forever.
Who gives food to all flesh,
for His mercy endures forever.

Oh, give thanks to the God of Heaven,

for His mercy endures forever.

Psalm 136:1-4, 23-26

I know I'm a week early, but...

I just can't help myself. I have so much I am thankful for and if I don't get at least some of it out of my system I think I'm going to pop!

For the past 2 days, I have been overwhelmingly reminded of how much I love my husband and my son and how grateful I am for them. I've literally had tears stream down my face at random parts of the last couple of days as I ponder the goodness of the Lord and the blessings He's graciously given to me.

I am truly amazed at how unconditional my husband loves me. I can do no wrong in his eyes - even though I assure you, I do plenty that he kindly and lovingly overlooks! He puts my needs ahead of his own without even blinking an eye, and is constantly trying to keep me happy. I should mention that I can be cranky, lazy and selfish yet he is faithful in his loving actions in spite of my shortcomings. It's really amazing to see - to witness - his love for me. I don't deserve it. Much like I don't deserve the gracious generosity the Lord consistently bestows upon my life. Adam being one of the biggest gifts. If his love for me, his actions, his attitude, his thoughts towards me are any indication of how much God loves me (and then to think that God actually loves me MORE), then by that alone I am speechless and overwhelmed.

And then there's the gift of my son. The miracle of conception and birth alone can cause one to pause. Or shall I say should cause one to pause. However, the miracle didn't end when he was born on January 23, 2008 at 5:10 pm. He was expected to die just a few months later. Well, no one actually came out and said, "you should expect your son to die". But being told that he had a 20% chance of survival without a successful bone marrow transplant, and a 50/50 chance of survival with a successful bone marrow transplant, well, it's easy to see the odds were against him. Three out of a million children get the kind of cancer he had. JMML Leukemia. And the methods of treatment are a guessing game (though, well-played, well-thought out, and well-researched by the skilled oncologists in the pediatric cancer arena!). And yet, he's alive. My baby had cancer, but my toddler is cancer-free. Fifteen months (and counting!) in remission. Defying odds all along the way. You can't help but be moved to tears - at least I cant! - at the thought of the miracle his life represents. And he's my son. I can't even fathom it sometimes. I'm so grateful - though, grateful seems like too small of a word - for his life. That he's here on this earth with his mommy and daddy, thriving. Having no recollection of all he went through the first year and a half of his life. But I recall. And I saw God move mountains. I will never forget any of that. I've seen the worst possible scenario, have no power over my child's life. And that's only because I saw God's power over EVERY part of my child's life. I can't even properly describe to you how thankful I am. Any attempt I make seems inadequate.

However, God knows my heart. He knows that my cup overfloweth and that I don't understand why He has dealt so graciously with me, but that I recognize that He has - and I'm quieted in humility as a result.

Which leads me to a super-dee-duper LONG list of things and people I'm extremely grateful for and I don't want to wait until Thanksgiving to express it. We should be counting our blessings every day. In fact, I have that phrase hanging on a wall in my kitchen "Count Your Blessings". I know it would be the world's longest blog post if I wrote every single one of my blessings out, but I would like to share a handful.

Counting my blessings. Literally. And in no particular order, other than as soon as they pop into my mind.

1. My husband, Adam.

2. My son (who will be 2 in January!), Ethan.

3. My parents and the way they raised me and for all they continue to do for me today.

4. My sister, Kari Jean, who is everything a sister should be - and I never laugh harder than when we are together.

5. My friends old and new, who let me into their lives and desire to be a part of mine.

6. The path my life has taken, through elementary school, high school, college and the jobs/careers in between.

7. The doctors who fought vigilantly for Ethan's life, both at Connecticut Childrens Medical Center and at Boston Childrens Hospital/Jimmy Fund Clinic. For the time they sacrifice away from their own families and children to help save the lives of children of other families. It's truly amazing what they do and the time they put in every day and night.

8. The nurses and assistants who ALWAYS had/have a friendly face for this tired momma who was wanting to be anywhere other than the hospital watching her baby fight off a horrible disease. Putting in long hours during the day and nights. Always taking an interest in our family and being so kind. Especially that first month we were at CCMC. I will never forget those guys and gals.

9. Our church.

10. Our extended families who helped us financially, with cards/gifts of encouragement and with their prayers.

11. Our friends who helped us financially, with card/gifts of encouragement and with their prayers.

12. All the strangers who helped us financially, with cards/gifts of encouragement and with their prayers.

13. Our new house - our first home!

14. The ability to stay home and take care of Ethan.

15. My husband's job.

16. My health and the health of my family.

17. That Ethan no longer requires all the daily medication he used to have to take.

18. God's grace.

19. God's mercy.

20. God's plan.

21. Having the desires of my heart.

22. God's salvation.

23. Hope for the future.

The list goes on.... from things big to small. And everything in between. Worries cease, selfishness subsides, and perspective is gained when we realize all that we've been given. I hope you count your blessings too, and that the list goes on..... and on..... and on.

Thank you, Lord for all You've given. It is truly so much!

Did I mention that superman came to town?

-

Well he did.

Back on Halloween.

And I've got the pictures to prove it!